Moving on.....

This is where Noah now lives! Last weekend, we drove away from home loaded down with a minivan full of old and new possessions. I rode with Noah in his car, while Michael followed behind. I was definitely trying to enjoy those last few hours with him before our lives changed in a huge way.

We know God led him to this place, and we know he is ready for this monumental step. That, however, does not make it easy! Michael and I have peace and joy in our hearts because Noah is right where he needs to be. Oh, but we miss him! I miss hearing his car pull up and watching his dog run to the back door to greet him. I miss his half-smile as he walks in the door and says "Hi, Mom! What do we have to eat?" I could go on and on, but I don't want to summon the tears this morning.

Speaking of crying, Michael and I did quite well I think in that department! We had agreed that falling on the ground and crying outside his dorm room would not be uplifting to Noah, so we made a pact to hold it in until we got home. We kept our agreement for the most part. I determined denial was the best plan for me!

My only near miss was during an orientation meeting for parents in the chapel. They always have a college mom speak on letting go of your children. We have done this two other times, so we were prepared. In the other instances, the speech was light-hearted and a little funny. That wasn't so this time! This time the speaker shared her pain in bringing her second son to school there. She likened it to someone "stabbing her with a knife and then twisting it". I could relate to that. Still, no tears......

Then she began speaking on her great relationship with her mom. When she has pain like that, she says she calls the one person who understands and fills her with encouragement and hope. It was a beautiful speech, and she was a riveting speaker, but the mom thing is still raw and painful for me. I wanted to call my Mom! I wanted to know she was back at home waiting for me like a safe harbor.

I wanted desperately to hear her advice and feel her comfort that day. However, as I began to think back, I remembered when Micah and Meredyth left for college. I remembered the things she said to me then, and I knew EXACTLY what she would say to me at that very moment.

She would say:

"Mari Ann, YOU CAN DO THIS! You are strong and you have Christ, and YOU CAN DO THIS! You have been preparing Noah for this day since the very minute he was born, and he is ready. You aren't leaving him alone, God is with him, and he will be fine. He will do things and learn things that you never thought possible. You are strong, and you are brave, and you can let go. You have done your job."

I remember when the kids were little and just starting school. I had found some little blown glass hearts in Gatlinburg, about the size of a penny. Micah's was blue, Meredyth's was red, and Noah's was green. When each of them started kindergarten, I slipped their glass heart into their pocket and told them that I loved them immensely. I said any time they felt unsure or nervous, to reach into their pocket and hold their heart, and know that I was at home praying for them and waiting for them to come home and tell me all about their day.

I didn't leave a glass heart in my last-born child's pocket this past weekend. I actually left a piece of my real heart with him, just as I did our other children. I also left him with lots of love, lots of advice, and lots of snacks. I can't wait to see what God does next with Michael Noah Moyers. We love you, son.