Let Me Re-introduce Myself!

If you are a woman, don't go to the world for validation!

I had my first baby in the 80's. Michael and I thought it was important for me to stay home with Micah, and the message at that time was "You should be able to do it all! Don't stay home because you will be boring and your husband will lose interest in you. Furthermore, he will meet someone at work who is more interesting than you, and he will leave you. So you will need to be able to make your own money and support yourself when he divorces you."

When I had Meredyth four years later, that message was nearly the same, but changing slightly. The new message was "Your children are very important. You should have a job, but you should strive to be a good mother. You should be able to do everything, and have no time for yourself. If you aren't doing it all, there is something wrong with you."

By the time Noah came along five years later in the 90's, society's message had changed again. Staying at home was becoming somewhat trendy. Women were finding that raising their kids could in fact be a full-time job. Women were encouraged to balance their lives more, and find a little time for themselves because it would make them a better mother. This was my favorite time.

Now things have changed again! Women are encouraged to invest in their children, making them their whole life. If you decide not to stay home with your children, people wonder why and imply that your kids are deprived and suffering. It seems there is guilt no matter what you choose.

For someone like me who struggles with self-worth at times, it's been a rocky road. I had always known that God was calling me to stay at home with my kids, and a lot of my feelings about that were shaped by some events early in my life. However, it seemed like no matter what I chose as a mom, the world tried to tell me that I was making the wrong decision and there would be dire consequences!

I have discovered there is another message out there today. The message is: "When your kids are grown and leave for college, your life is pretty much over". It's a subtle message, but it's there. People say "Oh, no! Your kids are gone! I am so sorry! I dread that day! I bet it's awful!" or "What are you going to do? I just don't think I will be able to handle that!"

It's true, it's a little unsettling to realize that the role that has defined you for nearly three decades is changing. I have already blogged about that some. I have been known as my kids' mom for a long time. Sometimes I didn't have a name, I was just "Micah's mom"etc., and I really didn't mind that at all!

It has occurred to me lately that there are many people in my life who have only known me as a mom. They didn't know me before that time in my life. And to be fair, most of my blog is dedicated to my life as a mom. So....today I am going to re-introduce myself and let you know some things about me that you may not know! Hang on!

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I was named after my great-grandmother Mary, and my aunt and my mom. Their middle name was Ann. I don't know why my mom changed the "y" to an "i", but I like being different. On my right side, my eyelashes and eyebrow are black, and on the left side of my face they are white. It is a birthmark and is extremely rare. I cover it up most of the time because it is very noticeable and I get lots of questions otherwise.

I lived in six different towns before I was seven years old. I have known my husband since I was 12, and we first "went out" when I was 14. His friend told him he should date me because I was a good kisser. I had never kissed anyone in my life, so he made that up! I was co-editor of the high school newspaper, and elected Peppy Pepper as a Senior. I got my first job at Dairy Queen when I was fourteen, and since then I have: worked at a women's shoe store, been assistant manager at a sporting goods store, been a teller and a proof operator at a bank, worked for a costume designer who created beautiful gowns and costumes for Mardi Gras, been a secretary for an architect, started my own secretarial business with my mom, and began my own day care - which I had for 15 years.

When I was in junior high, I was involved in archery. I had a real bow and arrow, not a toy one, and I was pretty good at it! Michael and I used to bowl on a league when we first married, and we were pretty good at that, too. I have lost my skills since then, however. I tried golf, but I was horrible at it. I can play the guitar a little, but my dream is to learn to play the piano. I LOVE to read, and I like all kinds of books. I try to read three a week, but sometimes I don't have that much free time. I also love to sew.

My favorite hobby is organizing something. It doesn't matter what it is: a closet, a drawer, a committee, and on and on. I love to make lists and check things off as I do them, because it makes me feel accomplished. I love learning things - anything, really. It could be about sharks, or how yarn is made, or a new recipe. I am a news junkie, also.

My favorite place to be is by the ocean, because it gives me a sense of God's power and fills me with peace. But.... I love living in a small town in the middle of nowhere. I always dreamed of living on a cul-de-sac and now I do! I love to move furniture around, and Michael is very patient about that. I move something nearly every day. It makes me happy.

My favorite season is autumn when the leaves are blowing in the air and the days are cooler. It feels like something exciting is about to happen. I love hearing the high school band practicing early in the morning from all the way across town, and knowing that football season is around the corner. My favorite type of day is stormy and full of thunder and lightning and rain. It makes me feel safe for some reason.

As you probably already guessed, I love to write. My spiritual gifts are "encouragement" and "discernment", and my kids have those as well! My love language is "quality time", without a doubt. I have a list of things I want to learn to do, and the next one is knitting. Patty taught me how, but I already forgot and I have to re-learn it now.

I became a Christian at church camp as a young teenager, and God has been blessing me ever since. I love working with teenagers because they are high energy and constantly developing. They are positive in their thinking and eager to learn and fun to be around.

God is teaching me these days to be aggressive in my Bible Study, and how to fight spiritual warfare in an offensive way! He is also teaching me that peace is mine to have, if I just reject the things in my mind that aren't peace. It sounds easier than it is!

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I am excited to rediscover who I am and to try some new things now that I have more time. I will still be called upon to be a mom, and it definitely is my first love, but I am hoping to surprise myself with some new discoveries!